Who is this Sean character anyway?

Somewhere in Long Island, on February 16th, 1976, the world was first graced with my presence. On the 5th try, my parents had finally achieved perfection. The first four 'experiments' are named Thomas, Michael, Kathleen and Kevin respectively. These 4 generally worship the ground I walk on...not much different than the rest of you. My parents tell me that I am the favorite child, and my father tells me that I am #1 in the will. But I'm pretty sure he tells all 5 of us that and we all know there's no Swiss bank accounts to be had anyway. As the youngest of 5 children, my early childhood was spent being teased, beaten and generally tortured by 3 older brothers as well as my older sister, who (ironically) is generally credited with the real knockout blows I've suffered (such as knocking my two front teeth out with a jump rope). However, once I got a little older, say about 3 years old, I started fighting back and easily pummeled my older but dimwitted and uglier  siblings into submission. All of them now treat me with the respect and reverence I deserve.

I was born in Long Island, NY but we moved upstate when I was too young to know what was going on. I grew up in the Poughkeespie NY area. It's not exactly a sprawling metropolis, but it's got all the amenities and is close enough to New York City for me. I lived in Po'town right up until the years spent away at college in Binghamton. Binghamton was an awful college town... I got a good education but left feeling like I'd gotten jipped out of the true "college experience". I wasn't looking for Animal House but the campus library rating as the #1 Friday night hot spot was really not that much fun. So I moved back to Po'town after college and took a job with IBM (who I'd be interning with during my junior and senior years of college).

Then it happened... late in 2000 the unthinkable happened and that diabolical bitch Hillary Clinton got elected senator of NY. I'd had enough... I was leaving the state of NY. I decided to move to a state with RESPECTABLE senators, so naturally I ended up in Massachusetts (ha!). Ok, ok, so Hillary winning didn't really have anything to do with it (although I would like to see her dead).... but in January of 2001 I took a new job in Burlington MA, which is about 10 miles directly north of Boston. The Burlington area is almost exactly like the Poughkeepsie area except it has about 20 times as many people and 25% higher cost of living, but I'm sure Poughkeepsie will catch up as the NYC suburbs sprawl further and further north. Being close to a big city was fun, but it's also costly and traffic absolutely blows just about everywhere in Eastern Mass.

After about 3 years in Boston, I had come to truly appreciate the term "mass-hole" and had to get out of Red Sux Nation ASAP. Thank God I did it before the stupid Sux actually won the World Series... I don't know if I could have taken the site of their idiot fans celebrating up close. So I moved back to NY, where I now live in Red Hook (about half way between NYC and Albany).... Sun lets me "work from home" so most of the time I spend sitting in front of the computer in my home office. It's a pretty sweet gig.

In my spare time, I enjoy dwarf tossing, racketeering and co-ed naked hockey. I am addicted to fantasy baseball and football. Basically, I love sports and am a huge NFL fan and have been known to spend 13 straight hours parked on the coach watching NFL Sunday Ticket on my HDTV; too bad my Jets always end up losing in the end! I play in roller and ice hockey leagues whenever I have the time. Unfortunately an NHL career was never in the cards - unless maybe the New York Islanders will hire me to sweep the floors. Even then, I'd probably be a bench warmer who only gets to sweep when the first string floor sweeper gets hurt :) I also take regular beatings boxing in an attempt to keep my gut to a minimum but all that usually accomplishes is making me fat and bruised instead of just fat.

Well, now you know absolutely everything there is to know about me....pretty exciting guy, aren't I?