Sean Comerford's Kick Arse Blog

Here’s how it’s going to go down:

First Round:

Bruins over Habs in 5

Caps over Rag$ in 6

Canes over Devils in 6

Pens over Flyers in 6

Sharks over Ducks in 7

Wings sweep Jackets

Canucks over Blues in 5

Hawks over Flames in 7

Second Round:

Bruins over Canes in 6

Caps over Pens in 7 game classic

Sharks over Hawks in 6

Wings over Canucks in 5

Semi-finals:

Caps over Bruins in 5

Wings over Sharks in 6

Finals:

For the 2nd straight year, the Wings school a wet behind the ears young team, beating the Caps in 5

The weather here in lovely central CT is finally starting to brighten and I’ve completed no less than six different fantasy baseball drafts… so spring and MLB games must be here!

And while I’m not as big of a fan of the Mets as I was back when Mookie dribbled that one through Buckner’s legs (man was that a great series), I still love the game…. I just root mostly for the guys on my roster in the $100 a team fantasy league I’m in.

Anyway, here are my 2009 predicted standings record for posterity:

AL East: Yanks finally get their money’s worth in ’09… Sox finish a half dozen back for the wild card in the curtain call for the aging heroes Varitek, Lowell, Ortiz (who is off the juice as of last year BTW). Rays show ’08 was a fluke and struggle to stay above .500 while the Jays and Orioles are mired in rebuilding seasons.

AL Central : This is a tough one to call…. all of the teams look to me like 80-85 win teams. But I’m picking the Tigers to rebound from a disastrous 2008 and that the Royals will surprise everyone by contending for the central division crown much of the year. The Indians, Twins and White Sox will all be competitive but fade down the stretch.

AL West: The Angels… by a mile. Oakland will most likely finish second but only because Texas still has no pitching and Seattle is fielding a glorified AAA team.

AL Playoffs: Yankees over Tigers, Angels over Red Sux… Yankees beat Angles in 6

NL East: Sports Illustrated is picking the Amazins to win it all and while I don’t agree they will at least manage to avoid choking away the NL East crown this year. The Marlins – that’s right, the Marlins – will finish second AND take the wild card as Cameron Maybin wins NL Rookie of the Year. Braves finish distant third while Phillies pitching goes back to being its old implosive self and they only avoid last by virtue of the less than stellar Nats.

NL Central: 2009 is the year the Pirates… once again finish last. Ok, the biggest lock in baseball out of the way, this will be a two team race between the Cubbies and Cards. And I think the Cards will win in a central division that is actually pretty weak. The Brew crew window closed this off season but their next wave of prospects will get a year to improve and maybe compete in 2010. Houston isn’t a factor as they finish 4^th. The Reds actually might have a chance to compete for last with the Pirates if they have injuries to their pitching.

NL West: Much like the AL West, this is a one horse race as the Dodgers should breeze to a double digit margin in the standings here. The Dbacks finish a distant second while the other 3 all have a legit shot to lose 90+.

NL Playoffs: Mets sweep the Cards while Dodgers are forced to 5 against the scrappy Marlins. The Mets then flame out against Manny and the Dodgers.

World Series: Bud Selig throws millions on his bed and rolls around naked on it as the two biggest markets face off in the series. A truly classic October classic ends with Arod (lock it up!) hitting a walk off homer, the monkey finally off his back now that’s he’s fessed up to being a rod freak like all the rest of MLB. Bonus prediction: The Yanks win one for the George who passes away a few weeks before the series and watches the games with Billy Martin… in hell.

Never mind covering +6 1/2, Cardinals are gonna win XLIII outright. Warner wins his 2nd MVP, thanks Jesus 27 times and announces his retirement before being raised up to heaven in a brilliant beam of light. Lock it up – Pitt will have a let down after beating hated rival Ravens for 3x time this year and Whisenhunt knows the ins and outs of Pit offense.

So I’ve been saying for weeks that this season was setting up to be a classic Jets ending… mid season they get back to back wins over arch rival New England and previously unbeaten Tennessee to open a 2 game lead in the AFC East and now where are they?

On the final week of the NFL regular season, the Belicheats are well on their way to beating the Buffalosers… which means the Jets win over the Dolphins (yes, that’s right – I’m locking up a Jets win over Miami) in a little while will accomplish what exactly?

That’s right ladies and gentlemen – absolutely nothing except giving the Belicheats yet another AFC East title.

Actually, the truly cynical Jets fan in me will go one step further – the Pats win, the Jets win and the Ravens will lose. Setting up – that’s right – Jets at New England in the wild card round… Pats 37, Jets 3.

Sometimes I really do hate being right all the time.

First they choke away perfection and now this… oh happy days!

Here’s hoping it’s career ending and Giselle dumps him next week!

Remember kids: in the end, cheaters never win.

Ahh, football season. A time for totally misplaced optimism about the Jets, 12 hours on the couch Sunday and praying for the tragic and untimely death of Tom Brady

Gentlemen, place your bets:

AFC:
East = Pats (12-4), Jets (9-7), Bills (8-8), Dolphins (5-11)
North = Browns (10-6), Steelers (9-7), Bengals (7-9), Ravens (5-11)
South = Colts (11-5), Jaguars (10-6), Titans (8-8), Texans (6-10)
West = Chargers (11-5), Broncos (8-8), Raiders (6-10), Chiefs (3-13)

NFC:
East = Cowboys (12-4), Giants (10-6), Redskins (7-9), Eagles (7-9)
North = Vikings (9-7), Packers (8-8), Lions (7-9), Bears (6-10)
South = Saints (10-6), Panthers (8-8), Bucs (7-9), Falcons (5-11)
West = Cardinals (10-6), Seahawks (9-7), Rams (7-9), 49ers (6-10)

Super Bowl: Cowboys 24, Jaguars 13

I don’t care who you are…. even if you’re a die hard Red Sux fan who hates the Yankees… you had to get chills watching the pre-game for the last All Star game in the “house that Ruth built”.

All those baseball legends from Yogi to Schmidt to Mays to Cal Ripken and many of the best today in the greatest sports venue…. just great stuff. Somewhere up there ol’ Herman has a tear in his eye.

Just a shame they have to tear the place down so billionaire owners can make a few million more a year. 

These are a little belated but I swear to no one that I made them prior to the playoffs starting:

East Finals : Rangers vs Penguins

West Finals: Sharks vs Red Wings

Pens beat Sharks in 5 to take Lord Stanley’s mug… Malkin is the MVP not that punk Crosby

Place your bets ladies and gentleman.

Ahhh, the mornings are turning crisp if not cold, leaves are starting to fall off the trees… and unnaturally large and fast steroid pumped freaks around the country are preparing to strap on pads and attempt to kill each other on the Lord’s Day for the next 4 or 5 months!

Do you know what you’ll be doing for 12+ hours every Sunday for the next 4 or 5 months? I do!

The only real point of this post is to record for posterity (that is – my own later review) my NFL 2007 predictions… so here they are:

AFC East: #1 Pats (11-5), #2 Jets (8-8), #3 Bills (6-1), #4 Dolphins (5-11)

AFC Central: #1 Ravens (10-6), #2 Bengals (9-7), #3 Steelers (8-8), #4 Browns (7-9)

AFC South: #1 Colts (11-5), #2 Jaguars (8-8), #3 Titans (7-9), #4 Texans (6-10)

AFC West: #1 Chargers (12-4), #2 Broncos (9-7), #3 Chiefs (7-9), #4 Raiders (5-11)

NFC East: #1 Cowboys (10-6), #2 Eagles (9-7), #3 Giants (7-9), #4 Redskins (6-10)

NFC Central: #1 Bears (11-5), #2 Packers (8-8), #3 Vikings (7-9), #4 Lions (6-10)

NFC South: #1 Saints (11-5), #2 Panthers (7-9), #3 Bucs (7-9), #4 Falcons (5-11)

NFC West: #1 49ers (10-6), #2 Rams (9-7), #3 Seahawks (8-8), #4 Cards (6-10)

Super Bowl : Chargers over Cowboys

So there you have it… my fearless football forecast.

So I went to Buffalo this past weekend with my 3 brothers and a whole crew of other functioning alcoholics. To summarize the weekend: damn you Anheuser-Busch for making a product as fine as Bud Light. I was able to kill innumerable brain cells with it this weekend and bear witness to a littany of other unspeakable acts of drunken stupidity. Some of us spent the game passed out in the bleacher seats but most of us watched the Jets (of course) beat the Bills 28-20 as the Buffalosers manged to lose a game in which they had 475 total yards of offense.

Now some people will tell you that Bud products are “bad.. crappy beer”, etc. These people do not like beer, spend most of their free time at coffee houses (or worse places) and should stick to wine coolers or wine and cheese parties when they do decide to drink. Seriously, if you have any hair on your chest, you just cannot find a better product than Bud Light – good and good for you.

As for the loyal fans of the only team in NFL history to lose 4 straight Super Bowls, I will make 2 observations that pretty much speak for themselves:

1. The main attraction of all Buffalosers tailgating parties involves throwing 3 or 4 inch steel washers through holes cut in plywood.
2. The next most popuplar attraction is standing near the porta potty dropping Mentos candies into 2 liter bottles of soda to make “soda volcanos” which you can then run through.

Un friggin belieavable.